Does this hurt? No, how ’bout this?


Goal progress: In bed by 10:26 p.m. Jan 3, Up at 6:25 a.m. Jan 4.

I really wanted to go back to bed this morning, it was so tempting.

Today I went back to the doctor to follow-up on my left leg and knee, which has been hurting since I slipped down a few stairs three weeks ago during another groggy morning. Here’s how it went:

P.A.: Does this hurt? Yes. How about this? Yes. What if I do this. No. Really, what if I twist your leg into this unnatural and awkward position? Uh, yes. Did you feel that little snap? It’s probably this ___ tendon, and your IT band. See it on the diagram, here? The ___ tendon would be pretty rare, but still…

Doctor: Does this hurt? Yes. What about when I do this? Yes. Relax your leg. What if I press here really hard? Uh, Yes. Let’s see if it hurts on the other leg. No. What if I press really, really hard on the other leg with my thumb? OK, yes. It’s this other tendon here, down the left side of your leg. You mean where I was complaining that it hurt? Yes, your biceps femoris. Here, I’ll write it down for you: “biceps femoris tendonitis.” I think you should get PT.

(Doctor leaves)

I don’t think he liked your theory. P.A.: Yes, well, I said it would be rare.

P.T.: Does this hurt? Yes. What about this? Yes. Turn on your back. What if I bend your knee really far this way? Yes. What if I bend your knee while simultaneously pushing it to the side and also drilling my thumb into your ankle ? Lord, yes. Try to resist this. Now try the other leg. Well that leg is weak too in the glutes. If only I had kept doing yoga, this injury probably never would have happened. Hmm. Turn on your side and raise your thigh, but not your hip, but keep your ankles together. No, not like that. Does that hurt? Yes. Now do calf raises. Does that hurt? Yes, a lot. Well I think not only have you stressed your tendon but you’ve injured your calf muscle as well. Would this have gotten better on its own? Well, yes, probably in a few months. These things tend to scar up over time, though, so it may always bother you a little. But we should have you feeling better in about three weeks.

Assistant: Don’t worry, this falls under your deductible but that will only take a couple of visits. Sigh.

And now, to bed, late, with a leg that feels like somebody beat it with a baseball bat. And every time my leg hurts in the next few days weeks, I’ll try to use the opportunity to be mindful of and grateful for the rest of my healthy body.

One response

  1. I’m so sorry you had such a rough day! This post was pretty funny, though. Such a positive attitude you have about being mindful and thankful for the rest of your healthy body! Wishing you a speedy recovery!