Category Archives: relaxation

Up in the air

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Feeling anxious and extra tired today. Flitting from one thing to another. I just don’t like it when too many things are up in the air. It’s as if life is in suspension. Wish I could just relax and be with every moment, instead of worrying steadily for most of the past four months.

I did try to manage it: I worked out. I gave myself an opportunity to read a book and nap (couldn’t nap—unusual for me), took a bath and read, etc. Got a good book finished, but still feel out of sorts.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.

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What’s on your weekend menu?

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What this vegan ate {and drank} today:

  • A couple of mugs of Earl Grey tea with soy or almond milk
  • Cereal with a bit of soy yogurt and some soy or almond milk {I forget which}. This was to tide me over while making:
  • Tofu breakfast scramble with curly kale and tempeh bacon
  • Chocolate peanut butter banana smoothie blended with So Delicious Mocha Fudge ice cream
  • French bread pizza with Daiya non-dairy cheese, jalapeno sauce, and orange peppers
  • A few bites of chocolate cake
  • Glass of red wine
  • Near midnight, some leftover BBQ soy curls and quinoa rice mix {I’d been craving these for about an hour and finally gave in}
Weirdly heavy on the soy today, but don’t worry, I eat a good variety and have days with none.

Want to know what else vegans eat {and drink}? Peruse the entries in today’s Virtual Vegan Potluck.

My new favorite evening activity: Words with Friends via Fire + kids + Big Bang Theory marathon

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My new favorite evening activity: Piling kids on the bed and playing Words with Friends via Kindle Fire with hubby and kids, while having a Big Bang Theory marathon.

A loaf or a swirl

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It’s been a long weekend full of family step-drama, and subsequent planning for this winter and spring. These next few weeks will be bumpy, but I’m confident that it will turn out for the best. I’ll share more when final decisions have been made. So, I’m exhausted and going to bed early. I want to get some good work in early in the week.

#reverb11 (via dontbeapicklebump.com)

“Do you have any rituals that you use to calm and center yourself when you are tired, frustrated or angry? What are they? If you don’t have any rituals for yourself, take a few minutes and think about what kind of rituals could you allow yourself to enjoy and describe them.

After all these years, still the best way for me to totally disconnect is to take a long hot bath with a good book. No electronics. No distractions. Usually Nevermore or Isis comes to hang out (Nevermore as a loaf, Isis as a swirl).

A spa day (family style)

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My red-headed step-child set up a “spa” in the girls room tonight. She gave any family member who signed up pedicures, manicures, hair styling, massages, and chocolate. So cute. We had to write an evaluation when we were done—that’s it. Nice family night. This is the kind of thing there just isn’t generally time for on short weekend visits during the year.

A small reprieve

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Ahh. Silence. Things stay where I’ve put them, for the most part. No questions or stories when I’m still waking up. Nobody just sitting there, staring at me. Nobody probing me for what we’re going to do next. No having to ask that the Hulu or Netflix get turned down, or off. No kicking kids out of the room so I can have a conference call. No hiding in my room just to have time to myself. No yelling. No pulling out my hair. No having to leave the house because I’m feeling stabby because nobody will pick up after themselves and I am sounding like a broken record (and channeling my mother). No having to get dressed to leave the room (it’s amazing how much I run around half-naked when there are no kids around). No doing dishes and laundry several times a day. And best of all—I went grocery shopping on Saturday—and there’s still food in the house!

On the flip side… No spontaneous hugs, no excited storytelling, no pals to go on walks or to First Friday with, no helpers for VegNet events or potlucks. No family game nights. No special cooking or baking. No general silliness. Nobody is doing art, or painting their nails, or reading Harry Potter books. Nobody is bugging me to walk up Pilot Butte.

A small reprieve… from the step-kids.

It’s the only one we get, and then they’re here for two more long months. I love having them here—and it drives me crazy to have them here. That’s family.

What I *should* be doing

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Sometimes I just need a long weekend to check out and do nothing but re-henna my hair while getting a little sun (a little too much on my legs—oops—was careful to sunscreen my face, but not my haven’t-seen-the-sun-much-this-year legs), watch the odd documentary, and catch up on some reading, while for the most part staying the hell away from the laptop.

I still manage to beat myself up a little, though. Do you ever feel guilty for taking it easy? I should be working on my garden, I should be hiking, I should be making a grocery budget, I should be birding, I should be mountain biking, I should be working on the radio show, I should be looking at those training materials, I should be cleaning the house, I should be leafleting, I should be finding a yoga studio, I should be blogging, I should be figuring out a way to take a vacation someday or do some traveling again, I should be figuring out a way to make some extra money, I should be calling my Dad, I should be calling up that old friend, I should be reading that book, I should be writing, I should be taking Ruby to the dog park, I should be finding us a new bank, I should be… {fill in the blank}!

I’ve heard those voices this weekend, but so far I’ve been able to acknowledge them and then let them go. I do believe that I need time once in a while for my mind to reset and regroup. {But even knowing that I need down-time, I still feel guilty about taking it—we all hear stories about the most “successful” people who only sleep 4 hours a day and are constantly creating and building fabulous things.} What is the secret to success, or creativity, and which should I work towards? What is the truth that I’m looking for? What do I want from this life? Will I find it in bursts of frenetic activity punctuated by rare moments of doing (almost) nothing? Somehow I have a hunch, that if I find it at all, it will be during the latter time.