Tag Archives: depression

Scalloped potatoes, orange globes, and funky claymation

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Red Orange Orb on a warm smokey September day

Pilot Butte: Smokey Orb

I had been craving Herbed Scalloped Potatoes since I saw the  recipe the other day in The 30-Day Vegan Challenge. They are in the oven, smell great, and hopefully will be done soon. (They are taking a lot longer than I expected.)

Recently, I heard a medical doctor reference an old study in which the subjects were fed only potatoes and B12 supplements for years and actually did quite well (he also mentioned how nobody would be permitted to do a similar study today). Not that I’d want to test it out myself. But as he pointed out, many Irish also survived for years on not a whole lot more than potatoes during the famine.

Late this afternoon after work, I sat outside and enjoyed the warmth while letting all four kitties run around the back yard. I love doing that. Only had one escapee over the side fence (Nevermore) and I was able to retrieve her pretty quickly. It’s been so nice—it was around 80° at 8p tonight.

In the early evening I hiked Pilot Butte. As I arrived, a wedding party was beginning their walk to the top. I know that people sometimes get married up there, but how fun to hike up first! Of course, I’m assuming they were getting married from the makeup of the group and the way they were dressed, and the fact that they were taking the road, not the trail. Plus, when I got to the top there were a bunch of other people who had obviously driven up for the ceremony and were waiting around.

There was a brilliant and fiery red-orange orb of a sun to greet them, thanks to a smoke cloud from yet another fire.

This evening, as the potatoes are cooking, I’ve been watching one of the first things that popped up on Netflix—this quirky claymation called Mary and Max with two of my favorite character actors, Toni Collette and Philip Seymour Hoffman, as the voices of the main characters. Normally, I don’t enjoy animations (especially claymations) very much, but this fit my mood well—it’s dark and odd.

Warm blue skies, but it feels like February

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Still feeling a little blue today. Buried myself in an overly-long hardly-took-any-breaks to eat or pee workday, testing out some 3rd party software to hopefully come up with a solution for my client. One of the problems of working out of a home office is that sometimes I just keep trying and tweaking and trying something else and tweaking—and then it’s 8 or 9p. In fact, I was still messing with stuff a little while ago. Not really productive, because I’ll probably wake up in the morning with a fresh idea and figure it out in way less time.

Part of my blue-ness is  feeling anxious about a work-related decision I’ve been putting off. Do I volunteer to do something that would be a good opportunity and possibly a good way to build my confidence back up, but is risky because it’s associated with something I failed miserably at a few months ago (so it would definitely raise my stress level 3-fold over the next week)? Or do I take it easy and not do it so that I can relax and do a good job on the other things I’ve committed to next week, but then risk regretting that I didn’t do it? Am I the only one who agonizes over decisions like this?

Another thing is being a little worried about my dogs—neither of them seem like they feel very good. Ruby just hasn’t seemed the same since we lost Deimos last year, and she has started to show her age. I’ve been missing Deimos a lot lately, especially since we’re coming up on the anniversary of his death.

Bummed that I spent all day indoors on one of the last nice days of the Fall. I should have at least gotten out there and taken Ruby for a walk.

Tomorrow.

Be Open

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Well, I have to be up for a 7:30a conference call, so…

It’s good to be home. But it’s painful. Coming back to reality after such a fantastic weekend of shared vegan culture is more than a little disconcerting. Other stresses and responsibilities are seeping back in quickly. I want to remember that feeling of inspiration, of like-minded people. I want to capture the ideas that flowed freely through my mind while brainstorming with and learning from other compassionate people.

I remember thinking each day this weekend: Open. I would be open to new ideas, to the people around me, I would smile more, be less hard, let people know how much I appreciate their work. I’d like to continue that theme into tomorrow. And this week. And this month. And this year.

Be open.

Wishing for a full moon, but only finding strange lights…

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Wish I could blame this week on a full moon. But alas, no such luck. Although I did see somebody post something on twitter about some strange lights…